Have you fingered a mouse lately? [Video]

November 1, 2010
Finger Laser Mouse

USB Finger Mouse Optical Laptop Notebook PC 1200DPI

Ok, I can understand the idea  and need for this gadget. But the design is a bucket of fail. Luckily this one will only set you back a couple bucks. If  this junky peice of tech mouse looks like fun to you, I’d say go ahead and order one. Just don’t come back here and bitch to us when your realize it sucks dookie.

(Video after the break.)

*Product Description*

100% Brand new high quality USB finger optical mouse. Resolution: 1200 dpi for quick and precise movement USB interface, also works for PS/2 (adapter not included). Plug and play, no installation needed 3 buttons with scroll wheel. Digital encoder technology, operate precisely, prevent faulty movement effectively. No mouse pad required. Sliding on any surface Suitable for both right and left hand user. Textile coating cable (not rubber coating) – enhance free and easy movement. Compatible with MS Windows 98/2000/me/XP/Vista Mac OS 9 and above.


Add this anywhere

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DJ Mouse!

August 20, 2009
DJ Mouse

DJ Mouse

DJ Mouse


Just what you need for your next keg party… Man,  I would love to be able to test this thing out.

*Product Description*

DJ-Tech is proud to announce the first DJ mouse ( patent pending ), as it said, this mouse is fully designed and made for all DJ applications. With a selection of serious materials and having in mind the great aluminium and rubber feeling, discover how easy to manipulate songs and mix them. So funny to use the Automix and sampled sounds / jingles to get into the partys with PERFECT BEAT MATCH. Powered by worldwide best DJ software Deckadance for MAC and PC, the powerful auto beat engine and the section of digital effects are the tools to shape your mix. The built-in Jog and the direct access to SCRATCH, will rock your computer and heat the dance floor. DJ mouse includes a special mat for optimising the quality of your scratch performance. The Blue ring Led is so helpful to locate your position on the mat and drive your performance. Just Plug, Play, Mix, and ROCK your computer with Dj Mouse.

View on Palm Pre

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Mini-Key!

August 10, 2009
USB Smallest Mini Keyboard II

USB Smallest Mini Keyboard II

You know, in the tech world smaller is usually better…but not for a f***ing keyboard. The only reason I would consider purchasing something like this would be for a Media Center PC or perhaps a PS3? Any other use and you would just be gimping yourself. Unless you are the size of “Mini Me” forget about creating/editing your office documents…and don’t even think about playing Call of Duty or Counterstrike with this midget-cricket.

*Product Description*

Its so small it fits in the palm of your hand! This space-saving, USB Smallest Mini Keyboard II with its compact key pitch requires less stretching of the fingers. The shorter keystroke uses less effort while keyboarding making it ideal for users who may have restricted arm, hand or finger movement. It operates on a reliable 2.4GHz wireless frequency that has a reach of up to 10 meters (32.8 feet) and has illuminated keys for easy typing in dark rooms. It is also great for small footprint computers or in tight spaces such as on server racks or at crowded LAN stations.

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Personal Pole Dancer!

August 5, 2009
USB Pole Dancer

USB Pole Dancer

This craptastic plastic lady is better looking than most of the trailer-park trash emloyed at  real strip clubs. The best part about this gadget is that you don’t have to worry about your eyeball’s catching an STD while watching this little lady dance. I call this an “Epic Win” for the perverts of the world!

*Product Description*

This sexy USB Pole Dancer was yanked from the shelves in England after customers complained that it was too outrageous! Stateside, she’s still ready to get your blood pumping — perfect for a dull day at the office, or whenever you want to save your singles! Just plug your curvy new deskmate into your computer’s USB port and watch as she spins up and down her pole while multicolored lights flash and a sensuous slow jam plays. Finally, a gadget that turns you on, instead of the other way around!

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Hot Hands!

July 23, 2009
USB Cooler Keyboard

USB Cooler Keyboard

*Product Description*

( With Wired Wonder Translation)

You really do not want to have wet hands when handling delicate visual materials  for your work (Your favorite wank-bait). But you are in the world of rush creating content for upcoming pr campaigns (uploading homemade lip syncing videos to youtube). Or you may be in deep in a chat room wanting to have nothing to break your focus (Trying to mac on some hot chick in the “Town Square” chat room who is actually just a 32 year old man that still lives with his mommy in Alabama). This is it for you ! No more sweaty hands to disturb your creativity (Special time). It has three internal cooling fans to keep your hands cool and clean! (Except for those jiz stains under your finger nails.)

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Shake that money waster!

July 22, 2009
Shaking Hip USB

Shaking Hip USB

Just when you thought you’ve seen it all…

The perfect gift for any pervert!

*Product Description*

Shake the Bootie!! Shaking Hip USB
Collect all of the Different Shaking Booties in Different Panties!

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Shit THUMP..er…Split THUMP

July 15, 2009
Oakley Split THUMP MP3 Sunglasses

Oakley Split THUMP MP3 Sunglasses

Me thinks this is an overpriced piece of shit. HIGH DEFINITION OPTICS? My ass Mr. Oakley, your sunglasses are f***ing garbage.

What’s that you say? you have added some craptastic mp3 functionality to your products? Well, Nobody cares, so go eat a bag of dicks already.

*Product Description*

Split THUMP is your favorite pair of sunglasses with the added benefit of an MP3 player. The sunglasses are designed to fit in your world and the MP3 player is there to rock it. Listen to music virtually anywhere with speakers that adjust easily and come out when you don’t need them. Quickly control the music with buttons that only you know are there, because they’re seamlessly blended into the icons. Forget about wires that dangle, snag and tangle, because the age of wires is over. Split THUMP is a total grab-and-go solution that puts your music into something you already take with you, and it comes with the razor sharp clarity and protection of Oakley’s HIGH DEFINITION OPTICS® (HDO®).

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