Geriatric Jar Opener [Video]

November 4, 2010
OneTouch Jar Opener

OneTouch Jar Opener

Great gift for your favorite geezer…

(Video & Geriatric Joke after the page break)


*Product Description*

Don’t let jar lids defeat you. With the OneTouch Jar Opener, you’ll be able to twist off jar lids that are seemingly impossible to open. The One Touch Jar Opener is completely automatic and safe–just a single touch of a button and your jar opens in seconds. It grips nearly any size jar firmly and clamps itself onto the lid. Then the powerful, high-torque motor exerts up to 25 pounds of force to unlock the lid, releasing the seal with ease. The OneTouch Jar Opener opens all jars with 1-inch to 4-inch diameter lids and is powered by two AA batteries (not included). It stores conveniently in your kitchen drawer.

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Suicidal Sleeping Bag

November 2, 2010
Humane Restraint Suicide Prevention Sleeping Bag

Humane Restraint Suicide Prevention Sleeping Bag

What is the best feature of this thing? If it fails at prevention it doubles as a body bag.

Also can be used by parents for their children while camping.

*Product Description*

Humane Restraint Sleeping Bag. This suicide prevention sleeping bag is made of rugged Quadlan quilted with 1″ box stitches to deter shredding and tearing. Material is water resistant to shed soiling. Machine wash and dry for easy care. Features seven 2″x8″ hook and loop match points to form sleeping bag.


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Keychain Breathalyzer!

August 19, 2009
5 in 1 Alcohol BREATH Tester Breathalyzer Timer Keyring

5 in 1 Alcohol BREATH Tester Breathalyzer Timer Keychain

If you’re the type of person who feels like they need this gadget, you’re most likely a f***ing alcoholic and should not be driving when you go out….ever.


*Product Description*

Better to be safe than sorry after you’ve had a few drinks! This 5 in 1 Digital Alcohol Breathalyzer Tester lets you know how close you are to the legal limit. It indicates if you are over or under 0.02% BAC or over 0.05% BAC. Get one to keep in your car or purse. The other functions include Timer, LED Light, and it comes on a handy Keychain! Please Note: While this product is a useful tool in determining your BAC, it does not take the place of common sense.

View on Palm Pre!

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Spectacles!

August 12, 2009
TruFocals

TruFocals

Now this is what I call a great f****ing invention. Sure they look like ugly Harry Potter rejects, but they make up for that shit with their awesome lens design.

*Product Description*

TruFocals are the revolutionary new glasses that let you choose the perfect focus for every distance from near to far. Seeing clearly everywhere, from up close to infinity, is finally possible. Wearing TruFocals, with just a simple finger motion on a small slider on the bridge, you can actually go from reading a newspaper to viewing a TV set to scanning a distant vista and your vision is crisp and clear every inch of the way. That’s a major improvement over multifocal glasses that are in focus only at certain fixed distances so your vision between those zones is blurred. And, with TruFocals, the whole lens is in focus so your entire field of view is sharp, not just a portion as with bifocals or progressive glasses.

View on Pre / iPhone

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Sunny Side Up!

August 10, 2009
Fried Egg Light

Fried Egg Light

Wow…what an eggcellent gadget…(See what I did there?)


Joke: What day of the week do chickens hate the most?

Answer: Fry-day!


And that my friends, concludes the corny joke of the week.

You are welcome!


*Product Description*

Fried Egg Light provides you a soft light at midnight when you get up without wake your family up. If you don’t want the discomfort light to ruin your sweet dream, you can choose this Fried Egg Light too!

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Beer Holster!

August 7, 2009
Hopsholster

Hopsholster

Now, if they could just figure out a way to refrigerate your beer while in this holster they would single hand-idly transform the world into a beer-topia.


*Product Description*

Don’t ask us why, but there are some days when you need to have six beers on you, but you can’t carry them in a cooler or bag. Maybe you’re going for a jog, maybe you’re sneaking them into a movie theater, but whatever your reason, we’ve done the research to find out your options. Not only do the Beer Belt and the Hops Holster offer amazing portability and comfort, you can bet you’ll be on the cutting edge of fashion. Or maybe not. Whether it’s for you or for a beer drinking friend, we’ve compared the two so you’ll know which one to buy. All in all, we think the Hops Holster is the better deal, but we leave the final decision up to you.

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Light-Up Pup!

August 5, 2009

 

Red LED Visiglo Lighted Dog Collar

Red LED Visiglo Lighted Dog Collar

 

Check out my amateur video review below.

*Product Description*

Keep you and your dog safe and stylish after dark. These collars will help you see your dog in your yard after dark! Visiglo illuminated collars feature top quality components. The Visiglo design engineers focused on four critical factors when developing the Visiglo line; safety, value, functionality, and style. The end result is a line of high quality illuminated pet safety products. All Visiglo collars share a common low profile power pack and standard width of 1 inch.

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