Geriatric Jar Opener [Video]

November 4, 2010
OneTouch Jar Opener

OneTouch Jar Opener

Great gift for your favorite geezer…

(Video & Geriatric Joke after the page break)


*Product Description*

Don’t let jar lids defeat you. With the OneTouch Jar Opener, you’ll be able to twist off jar lids that are seemingly impossible to open. The One Touch Jar Opener is completely automatic and safe–just a single touch of a button and your jar opens in seconds. It grips nearly any size jar firmly and clamps itself onto the lid. Then the powerful, high-torque motor exerts up to 25 pounds of force to unlock the lid, releasing the seal with ease. The OneTouch Jar Opener opens all jars with 1-inch to 4-inch diameter lids and is powered by two AA batteries (not included). It stores conveniently in your kitchen drawer.

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Drunk Driving?

October 25, 2010
Beverage Buggy

Beverage Buggy

Let’s continue with the alcoholic theme we have going, shall we?

Video after the break!

*Product Description*

Radio-controlled beverage buggy puts a new spin on “two beers (or colas!) comin’ at ya!” Hosts can wow their guests when the buggy delivers their refreshments. Plastic. Requires one 9V and four AA batteries (not included). 12″L x 8″W x 7 1/2″H.

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Beer o’clock Somewhere

October 19, 2010
Happy Hour Watch

Happy Hour Watch

Somewhere in Tennessee, Alan Jackson is weeping tears of joy for this item…

*Product Description*

The Ultimate Modern Man Accessory!
Easily transition from the office to the happiest hour of the day! Watch has patented bottle opener buckle that pops tops without leaving your wrist. Sleek black watch face highlights the 5:00 Happy Hour in red type, so you never forget what you’re counting down to.
Features Japanese quartz movement with stainless steel back and adjustable black leather band.

 

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HeadSpa!

November 23, 2009
HeadSpa Head Massager by Healthcare

HeadSpa Head Massager by Healthcare

*Bonus feature*…During Halloween this shit doubles as a “Tron” helmet…LMAO

*Product Description*

Sooth Yourself by Yourself! Alleviate stress and tension, relieve migraine pain, increase blood circulation, and enter a mode of relaxation with this revolutionary head massager. The device’s application of accupressure simulates the sensation of hundreds of fingers simultaneously Read the rest of this entry »


Jingle Jugs!

September 3, 2009
Jingle Jugs

Jingle Jugs

Just what every guy needs…a pair of singing tits!

*Product Description*

The Trophy You’ve Always Wanted! You won’t believe your eyes! This anatomically correct mounted pair performs to the hit song “Titties and Beer” by Rodney Carrington. Molded in soft vinyl with real bikini top! Mount these jiggly jugs on the wall or use the included display stand. Set them on motion-detect mode and surprise the unsuspecting! Fun for home, office, garage, workshop, gameroom, etc.

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Soda Can Robug!

August 24, 2009
Soda Can Robug

Soda Can Robug

As far as I can tell this DIY robot (unless you are 7) = LAME!

Please check out instructables.com for DIY projects that don’t bring the suck!


*Product Description*

Create a Clean Energy Critter — As fun to build as it is to play with when complete, this unique robot project uses a recycled soda can you provide and transforms it into a robotic bug toy. A vibration sensation, Robug emits sound and moves across the floor as soon as you switch it on. — Includes a motor casing, toy motor, body plate, body rims, battery casing, four large screws with bolts, small screws, plastic terminal caps, wire legs and wings, detailed instructions with fun facts. Requires two AA batteries, screw driver for cross head screws, and a used soda can you provide. — Recommended ages 8 and up.

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Personal Pole Dancer!

August 5, 2009
USB Pole Dancer

USB Pole Dancer

This craptastic plastic lady is better looking than most of the trailer-park trash emloyed at  real strip clubs. The best part about this gadget is that you don’t have to worry about your eyeball’s catching an STD while watching this little lady dance. I call this an “Epic Win” for the perverts of the world!

*Product Description*

This sexy USB Pole Dancer was yanked from the shelves in England after customers complained that it was too outrageous! Stateside, she’s still ready to get your blood pumping — perfect for a dull day at the office, or whenever you want to save your singles! Just plug your curvy new deskmate into your computer’s USB port and watch as she spins up and down her pole while multicolored lights flash and a sensuous slow jam plays. Finally, a gadget that turns you on, instead of the other way around!

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