Pillow-top Remote!

Pillow Remote Control

We have a winner…

This thing is sooo epic, it hurts my brain to think about it…

Product Description

The sofa pillow with the distinctive difference it’s also a remote control. Never again will you have to ask, where’s the remote And you ll never lose this remote in between the cushions. Because it IS a cushion with a built-in 6-in-1 universal remote control! Fast, easy set-up with pre-programmed automatic code searching. The Pillow Remote Control has databases containing codes for over 500 remote control devices. Its easy-to-click fabric buttons make changing channels a breeze. Power-saving auto shutoff feature shuts off remote functions after 60 seconds of inactivity. Remote has a wide-range transmitter with infrared LED built in. A fun way to watch TV or home theater, and a real conversation-starter. Uses 2 AAA batteries (not included). Never lose your remote again with the fun 6-in-1 Pillow Remote. Order yours from Brookstone today!

Geriatric Jar Opener [Video]

OneTouch Jar Opener

Great gift for your favorite geezer…

(Video & Geriatric Joke after the page break)

*Product Description*

Don’t let jar lids defeat you. With the OneTouch Jar Opener, you’ll be able to twist off jar lids that are seemingly impossible to open. The One Touch Jar Opener is completely automatic and safe–just a single touch of a button and your jar opens in seconds. It grips nearly any size jar firmly and clamps itself onto the lid. Then the powerful, high-torque motor exerts up to 25 pounds of force to unlock the lid, releasing the seal with ease. The OneTouch Jar Opener opens all jars with 1-inch to 4-inch diameter lids and is powered by two AA batteries (not included). It stores conveniently in your kitchen drawer.

Suicidal Sleeping Bag

Humane Restraint Suicide Prevention Sleeping Bag

What is the best feature of this thing? If it fails at prevention it doubles as a body bag.

Also can be used by parents for their children while camping.

*Product Description*

Humane Restraint Sleeping Bag. This suicide prevention sleeping bag is made of rugged Quadlan quilted with 1″ box stitches to deter shredding and tearing. Material is water resistant to shed soiling. Machine wash and dry for easy care. Features seven 2″x8″ hook and loop match points to form sleeping bag.

Have you fingered a mouse lately? [Video]

USB Finger Mouse Optical Laptop Notebook PC 1200DPI

Ok, I can understand the idea  and need for this gadget. But the design is a bucket of fail. Luckily this one will only set you back a couple bucks. If  this junky peice of tech mouse looks like fun to you, I’d say go ahead and order one. Just don’t come back here and bitch to us when your realize it sucks dookie.

(Video after the break.)

*Product Description*

100% Brand new high quality USB finger optical mouse. Resolution: 1200 dpi for quick and precise movement USB interface, also works for PS/2 (adapter not included). Plug and play, no installation needed 3 buttons with scroll wheel. Digital encoder technology, operate precisely, prevent faulty movement effectively. No mouse pad required. Sliding on any surface Suitable for both right and left hand user. Textile coating cable (not rubber coating) – enhance free and easy movement. Compatible with MS Windows 98/2000/me/XP/Vista Mac OS 9 and above.

Drunk Driving?

Beverage Buggy

Let’s continue with the alcoholic theme we have going, shall we?

Video after the break!

*Product Description*

Radio-controlled beverage buggy puts a new spin on “two beers (or colas!) comin’ at ya!” Hosts can wow their guests when the buggy delivers their refreshments. Plastic. Requires one 9V and four AA batteries (not included). 12″L x 8″W x 7 1/2″H.

Beer o’clock Somewhere

Happy Hour Watch

Somewhere in Tennessee, Alan Jackson is weeping tears of joy for this item…

*Product Description*

The Ultimate Modern Man Accessory!
Easily transition from the office to the happiest hour of the day! Watch has patented bottle opener buckle that pops tops without leaving your wrist. Sleek black watch face highlights the 5:00 Happy Hour in red type, so you never forget what you’re counting down to.
Features Japanese quartz movement with stainless steel back and adjustable black leather band.

 

Cone-head!

 

Ice Cream Shower Cap

 

I just have one question for the company that makes these things…

WHY?

*Product Description*

Keep that new ‘do safe while you lather up in the shower with our  Ice Cream Cone Shower Cap.  Oh no… someone dropped their ice cream cone
The Ice Cream Cone Shower Cap features elastic sides to keep it nice and snug on your head and looks like a dropped ice cream cone!  Great for children and the young at heart. Perfect for keeping hair dry in the bath, shower, hot tub, swimming pool, ocean… lol, now we’re just being silly!
100% PVC with elastic.  One size fits most.

Mood-swing Mustaches

 

 

Mood Mustaches

*Perfect for a person like me who can’t grow facial hair and can’t fit standard mood rings on their fat fingers*

*Product Description*

It’s easy to match your mood to your mustache with these colorful lip rugs! Feeling bored? Slap on the purple ‘stache! Feeling sassy? Go with orange. Each fancy facial decoration is made of lifelike synthetic hair with adhesive backing and fits most upper lips

HeadSpa!

HeadSpa Head Massager by Healthcare

*Bonus feature*…During Halloween this shit doubles as a “Tron” helmet…LMAO…

*Product Description*

Sooth Yourself by Yourself! Alleviate stress and tension, relieve migraine pain, increase blood circulation, and enter a mode of relaxation with this revolutionary head massager. The device’s application of accupressure simulates the sensation of hundreds of fingers simultaneously

Walmart Casket!

Lady de Guadalupe Steel Casket @ Walmart.com

Walmart.com just added a new item to thier online store…and it’s just in time to complete your authentic vampire costume for Halloween.

 

*Product Description*

Made of Superior Grade 18-gauge steel, Lady de Guadalupe’s exterior is hand-painted by experienced craftsman in an exquisite slate blue metallic color, complemented with individual appliqués of the Lady de Guadalupe. The interior bedding, so soft to the touch, is sewn and gathered by hand in a sky-blue chalet crepe adorned by an embroidered figure of the Lady de Guadalupe. High-polished hardware and carry bars for easy handling complete this religious-themed edition.

 

Leave a comment! / Rate this post! / Vote a commenter!